An explanation of a mistake.

I wonder if anyone noticed the technical error in the last two weeks’ story. Paragraph three of  Part One of Wrong Side of the River contained some technical errors. My edited version of the paragraph better suits the explanation of the effect of a shotgun pellet(rather than a bullet) fired from a 12 gauge– that should probably have read twelve gauge so I’ll fix that too! This was something I knew before I even submitted it for University assessment, and why writers often need another eye. If you would like to write to me about your errors or offer constructive comments on mine please message me on twitter or ask me to contact you in the comments. Thanks for reading!

The edited paragraph from Wrong Side of the River part One

Mirages hovered over the strips of asphalt as they approached Yarrawonga, and their holiday house. They had been nearby when Michael slammed on the brakes. Everyone in the car gaped at him as he had leapt from the driver’s seat and ran to the boot. He unlocked it and threw up the lid. He pulled out his loaded twelve gauge, and in the silence there was a definite click as he released the safety. At the front of the car, he fired at the Eastern Brown Snake crossing the road. The shiny,sinuous coils were rent by the shotgun pellets propelled scattering of bloody guts.
Poor bloody snake, R.I.P. January 4 1970, thought Bev.
Bev and Sally had screamed, while Mickie just stared. He reset the safety, returned the rifle to the boot, and then flopped into the driver’s seat.
‘I feel better, Wheeze’, he said to his wife. She shook her head.
‘That’s snake’s relatives need the name of that trial lawyer you’ve been up against.’
He had given a mocking laugh, glared at her, and opening the car door, stomped off. He realized he’d angered her, and rejected the thought that she was justified. A member of the bar firing a shotgun on a public road, without warning his wife or his kids. Irritation and stress were all over him like the leftovers of a honey sandwich. He tried to shake it, but he needed a walk. He headed towards the nearby river.


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